Welp BIG NEWS for those who didn’t know already. A few months ago I entered a screenplay into a contest/film festival called A Place Called Sacramento, held by Access Sacramento. Took a while but out of god knows how many scripts entered I was one of the 10 selected. I went in today to finalize things and go over details. I have my official casting call next Wednesday and hopefully start production soon after.
Btw the name of my screenplay is The Shadow over Sacramento, there’s the link to my official page as well if you click on the title. The film festival airs at the Crest Theater here in Sacramento October 5th so I have some time. I also have feedback from the judges, here is what they said:
* Nice-good intrigue. Keeps the audience guessing.
* Make sure you have good visuals for the Voice over sections.
* I look forward to seeing this on the big screen.
* Maybe make some of the opening monologue part of the conversation between the detectives. It’s pretty long.
* Good job!
* Fun and creepy. I want to see it!
Could be a bit more PC towards Sacramento’s homeless population by just changing a few lines. Very few people choose to be homeless or want it.
* May be challenge to find a good f/x person.
* Best of luck.
* Good build up to mystery and reveal.
* Consider less detective narrative and put in dialog.
* Also V/O of journal may be too much narrative, flashback
* You will need access to river and special effects creative. Could be a challenge.
* Starts off strong but doesn’t keep it.
* Try showing more than telling. Too much happens in internal-thoughts and directions.
* Good narration set up. Interesting.
* I like the use of the diary in the story.
* Getting good sound by the river can be tough.
* The curse words would have to change for PCS.
* Interesting premise for a 3 scene event- more like a prelude to a longer story.
* There’s really no moral/learning here. It’s just an event.
* Develop the characters- Who are they and why should we care.
* Don’t tell about missing people- Do a montage and show them getting taken/knocked out.
* There’s potential here- but it all needs to be family friendly.
A lot of good, some creative criticism, and a few negative. In my opinion if the negatives new anything about H.P. Lovecraft and what the story it’s based on is about they would change their comments I’m sure. BTW I had to edit one comment/criticism only cause of spoilers lol just took out character names was all, but left it as a whole unchanged.